To My Child...

My child,

I know you had been through a lot of challenges in life. I’m glad that you are still holding on to live through each day in such cruel world.

When you think of me, I’m always beside you. It’s just that sometimes you can’t sense me with your disturbing thoughts.

You are not alone.

I acknowledge every single feeling you are having.

Everyday you start your day, I had already prepare blessings along your way. As you drive everyday to work, I hope that you’ll acknowledge my painting along your way and places that I know you will go everyday.

The Sky, the Sun, the breezing wind, the people, the sceneries, the birds, the kids, the old folds and many more, hope you see it all.

I know what touch your heart and that makes you smile.

When you are feeling low and sad, your eyes are blinded by your problems. Letting my blessings pass by you without realizing it. Haven’t you forget that I can comfort you? Don’t you know I told you not to have anxiety overwhelmed you?

My Child, I’m always here for you. Come to me and will give you rest in such restless world.

Your path is not dark and you shall not worry about what to eat, wear or how to live your life as I had already prepared for you. I did not only create the sun but also the moon to shine at night, to guide you and let you see what lies ahead of you.

In spite of all things you had neglected, my heart is in pain but I’m here for you and will not leave you. This is because I love you.

Keep smiling my child, there’s nothing that impossible to me because I had created heaven and earth.

I love you my child... every single day.

Spending Time Alone...

Time really flies, I’m wondering how everyone is doing lately.

Weekend, I take some time to quiet down and spending a little time with myself. I realized that I’m so busy until I had neglected something which is small but precious to me.

I drove myself around the neighborhood and to some quiet places. Enjoying my ride with my favorite songs. I wind-down the window and I reach out my hand trying to catch the wind. Its force and pressure makes me smile as the wind runs through my finger and touches my arm tenderly.

Then, I thought to myself, it’s a beautiful night to spend my quiet time. Drove myself around, observing the cars and motorcycles pass by, wondering where they are heading to…

I take a stop at the petrol station, fill-in petrol to my gorgeous car and continue to shift my ride into overdrive.

Continue with my journey, went to the night market near my housing area. Adoring that the food and snack, my watery mouth start to get itchy and there goes my diet. Yum yum… Someone please stop me from eating.

Walking in the night market brings me a lot of nice memories. Especially those stores which are famous among us, Lok Lok (Steamboat), Ice- Cream, roasted chicken wing, roasted pork, Dim Sum, dessert store and especially “Stinky Taufu”.

Hmmm, how I wish my close ones are with me now so we can enjoy ourselves here…

Mixture of feelings

Dreams I had can’t compare to the tiredness which needs to bare everyday,
My eyes turned red without tears to shed.

Holding on to what is precious and fasten myself to move forward,
Taking careful steps and hope things will be better.

Let the rain drops upon my face and let me know that I’m still alive,
Gaze upon the sky, how I wish I can fly but I did not.

I stayed, like a bird on a tree with broken wings,
Sing the song of love but in the rhythm of sorrows.

Grad a pile of sand on my palm, to feel its gentleness and smoothness,
The stronger I hold, the more it descends again from my hand.

Walking the path of wonders and challenges, hoping for an angel will land beside my shoulder, cover me with its wings and comfort me in every obstacle.

Clocks ticking every second and I need to get up to offer what I can spare.

Alone in faith I walk, alone in grace I live; of all these perplexity, there’s one thing that keeps me going.

I give thanks ...............................................................

Neglected...

After a long day work, who doesn’t want to take a rest and spend the remaining time to do the things you like?

We all agree that it’s hectic living in the city especially the pressure of working and earning a living. Well, there’s nothing we can do much besides hanging on and be happy of what you are having now.

Every morning, I’ll pass by the streets near Pasar Seni. Seeing and observing people walking around and rushing to work. Traffic is just getting worsen every single day. I thought to myself, what if I just stand on top of a cloud and just look down at the pattern of living in city life. Well, as most of you all are aware, we are just like ants. Being responsible to their commitments and trying to make a living. But, had you realized that you had neglected something important?

In one particular evening after work, I decided to take a bus home because it’s cheaper. So, I entertain myself with my I-Pod and just standing at a corner of the bus station.

Suddenly, an old man came near me with his wheelchair. With his stained clothes and pair of ragged pants, I looked at him and ask if there’s anything I can help.

He started to speak in a very soft voice, so, I bend down and squatted down in front of his wheelchair. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?” I asked. His eyes looking at me it seems like he’s going to tear.

“Do you believe in God and love?” he asked. In my surprise, I realized that he is seeking for an answer. So, I replied “I do.” and our conversation went on further.

Lonely old men who can’t walk living in the streets of KL, my heart feel pities for him.

“Where is your family?” I asked. “They had left me.” he replied. Then I asked him the reason but he didn’t reply. Then, I told myself there must be a story behind all this for what had happened.

After our 10 minutes conversation, he seems to be cheered up and feeling better. He holds my hand and stay quiet for a few seconds, his rough hand reminds me of my grandpa.

“Thank you.” he said. I smiled back and told him that although life is full of ups and downs, love is the one thing who keeps us going everyday. “That Love is always with you... You are not alone.” I continued.

I gave him a hug without realizing that his clothes are dirty. After telling me his next destination, I accompany him to the LRT station.

A few minutes later my bus came and I head on to home. However, during my journey home, I mind keep thinking about that old man. I try to imagine myself if I was him, what kind of feelings he’s having inside. Feel like being neglected, lonely, poor, tired, dirty, and smelly? I guess there are more.

一直在您身旁…

最近的疲倦, 谁来明白?
依靠自己, 坚持下去的脚步,
克服一切的困难。
虽然如此, 您的微笑我忘不了。

忙忙碌碌的, 但您始终在我心中,
如果可以, 我想要拥抱您,
再一次温暖的拥抱, 您愿意吗?

回忆过去, 许多事曾经是煎熬,
用一切, 换您的微笑。
我的笑, 可以很浪费,
是值得的, 起码我够慷慨。

不在您身旁，要会照顾自己,
不要哭, 眼泪要学习自已擦,
跌倒，学习站立起来。

我是如此疲倦却闭不上眼,
只需要知道您好, 我会微笑。
不委曲, 因为您拨动了我的心跳,
不说话, 只倾听你的耳语心跳。

如果我不是您故事的角色,
回忆我会收藏着,

感动我也会留着。

Will Anyone Come to me?...

Was sick these few days… Until now still yet to recover… I checked myself every morning and if I know I still can go to work, I'll force myself to get up and prepare for the day.

My body is weakening every time when it is almost reaching the end of the day. I reached home, taking out my keys and slotting the key towards the door-lock with my shivering hand. Finally I got in to my cozy house and immediately I feel comforted.

I yield towards the living room and upstairs “Anyone home?” Silence replied me and I know that I’m alone again.

Walk slowly towards the kitchen, there it was, a pack of takeaway-meal placed on the dining table, my heart give thanks by saying “ Thanks Mom.”

Without finishing my dinner, I put away my dinner into the trash-can, take my medicine and head on to my shower.

Lay down on my bed, I gaze at the ceiling in my room and my heart grips and turns sour. I tears, hoping there’s someone beside me. So, I whisper “Will anyone come to me…?” Knowing the fact that I’m alone now, it’s helpless.

Holding my pillow close to me, pretending I’m hiding under an arm.

Slowly the medicine take effect and I’m getting drowsy, my eyelids are like stage curtains closing after a day of performance.

In such tough life and weakening feelings, there’s only one thing that I will hold on to and to remind myself that I need to stand up and move on with my life. I need to be strong in order to care for the people who are close to me.

That is YOU.

Seeking you…

In the middle of the night my heart seeks for you. Your gentleness and kindness makes be swell in love and happiness. Your promises makes worth for me to serve and your unfailing love makes me realized that you are watching me everyday.

Breaks my heart for what breaks yours, all I want is to put a smile on your face. When I see you again, I wish to hear you say “Well-done”.

Let me be what you want me to be, let me know your purpose and what’s in your heart. So, send me to the place you want me to go.

Knowing you had given up your everything, my heart was amazed by such grace. Repeating a question my mind, “How can this be?”

You are someone always shows your constant love to me and to those who knows you.

Though there are times I turn away from you but you never leave me, I’m the one who leaves you. What can I ask for more?

Refine me, cleanse me, teach me, guide me, remind me, comfort me, strengthen me, hold me, sustain me, free me, embrace me, forgive me, rebuke me… these is what you to best. So, this is what I can surrender to you.

Your gentleness I will carry everyday.
I thank you for believing in me.